It’s a strange world we are living in. Now, more than ever it is so important to find a way to live peacefully, stress-free, and create a reality we love.
Sure, easier said than done you say. It’s crazy out there. How do we not get stressed and anxious?
Creating your own reality may sound a little ridiculous. The fact is, the only things we have complete control over are our thoughts, emotions, actions, what we focus our attention on, and the information we feed our minds.
These things create our reality.
I have been creating my own reality for years now.
It took me a while to realise I could still be aware of what is happening in the world without being caught up in it.
For too many years, I allowed external factors to influence my life – global issues, politics, my ex-husband, my family, awful bosses, and anything else I allowed in – turning myself inside out with worry, anger, frustration, and sadness.
It did me no good. My kaleidoscope of thoughts and emotions about those people or situations changed nothing. All it did was destroy my peace and happiness.
So, I stopped worrying. I stopped engaging, and I stopped ranting – in my head, on social media, and to other people.
It wasn’t easy not getting caught up, but it was worth the effort.
I chose peace and gratitude for what I have in my life now, and excitement and joy about big dreams for the future. These are the only emotions I want to focus on.
I don’t want to sound like I’m preaching.
I just wanted to share how I got off the merry-go-round of anxiety and worry.
And the following habits help me to create a happy, healthy, and purposeful environment helping me to thrive.
These habits add richness and depth to my life.
I hope this post inspires you to try one (or more) that will bring you peace and happiness.
Unless you already feel that way.
In that case, kudos to you!
I Started Meditating
It’s been about a year since we started meditating.
I remember talking to Dan about it, saying that I wanted to give it a go. As it often happens with us, he had been thinking the same thing.
So, we started—each in our own way.
There is a lot of information explaining the benefits of meditation. I like this article and its links – Science doesn’t Lie: Top 10 Reasons to Meditate.
I have tried meditating in the past, nothing serious, just dabbling here and there, but I never committed to regular meditation practice.
I thought it was boring. Clearing your mind (yeah right!) and just sitting there.
But with everything going on in the world, I found myself reflecting on life, and I was processing information and ideas I had never considered before.
My mind felt overwhelmed. I wanted to create a peaceful world within.
It worked.
I absolutely love meditation!
I meditate on average five days a week, and each day is a little different. I am working on making it a daily practice.
I won’t lie. Some days it doesn’t work. There are days my mind will not let go, but that’s ok. That’s life.
Most days, I feel incredible. My inspiration and creativity are sparked. I find comfort when I need it and answers to questions I am pondering.
I feel calm.
There a many benefits meditation brings to my life. Meditation has become vital to me. I have no idea if I am doing it “right”. But whatever I am doing works for me, and I think that’s the point.
If you have been thinking about meditating, go ahead and try.
Let go of the idea of doing it the right way. Instead, try different things like guided meditations, apps, or music until you find something that suits you.
Don’t give up. It is not easy. It takes perseverance and commitment. But it is worth it. I promise.
Sometimes I listen to guided meditation videos on YouTube (I love Boho Beautiful), and I also downloaded a meditation music app to my phone, which I enjoy.
“Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak” – I love this quote. It is so true.
I Started Trusting My Intuition
I know many of you would call this whoo, whoo, or garbage or not an actual thing.
I beg to differ.
My intuition is never wrong.
The key is trust.
I needed to learn to trust myself. Believe in me. Have faith in myself and the Universe (or whatever you prefer to call it).
Knowing yourself and being honest is also important. Sometimes we make decisions based on fear, allowing those feelings to dominate our intuition. Fear is not a good place to make decisions from.
You can make an intuitive decision that is 100% right for you and still feel scared or nervous. That’s just a part of being human.
But when you make a decision based on your intuition it innately feels right. It’s often the thought that comes to us first. And then we talk ourselves out of it for one reason or another because we don’t trust ourselves.
I think back to my younger self, the girl who had no self-esteem, lacked confidence, and was always fearful. I did not have faith or trust in myself, and I made many poor decisions in my life because of it.
Now, whenever I can’t figure out an answer to a pressing question or problem that needs solving, I don’t stress. I don’t force it.
Instead, I leave it.
That sounds counterintuitive, but it works.
I “book” a time with myself to address the issue.
I know it sounds nuts but stay with me.
By “booking” in a time to think about the problem. For instance, you can think, or write it down, “Make a decision about _____ on Monday at 10 am.
I can relax about the issue, knowing that I haven’t forgotten and will give it the time it needs.
Guaranteed the answer always comes, or the situation sorts itself out before that day.
Sounds crazy, I know, but it works every time without fail.
By giving myself time and relaxing my mind, the answer comes naturally.
Learn to trust that the problem will get resolved and that things will always be ok.
Learning to trust myself was one of the biggest lessons I learned while walking the Camino. In the beginning, I worried about where I would sleep that night or if I would make my destination because of injury or illness, or what would I do if the weather conditions worsened.
It always worked out. Always.
Granted, some days were hard, and I had to push myself mentally and physically, but that’s ok. I made it.
Once you trust your intuition, external factors are less likely to persuade you. External factors like someone else’s opinion, society’s expectations, and deep-set beliefs about what you should or shouldn’t do.
My more experienced Camino friend told me not to pay attention to what I “should” do or what others were doing, only to do what was right for me.
She was 100% correct.
It was my Camino to walk; just like this is my life to live. My intuition will always guide me.
I found this article interesting, and you might too if you have trouble listening to your intuition – How to Use Your Intuition.
I Stopped Watching The News & Filtered Social Media
I stopped watching the news years ago. I was tired of getting angry, annoyed, or sad every time I turned it on.
When I worked an office job, I read the newspaper every day because I thought I had to keep up with what was going on.
That resulted in the same thing – annoyance, anger, frustration.
When my son was 14 (he’s almost 22 now), he pointed out that the news had a “formula”.
He realised the news segments ran in a particular order – in his words – doom & gloom, depressing, sad, and happy.
We joked, saying it had to end with a tiny bit of optimism after the awful news, so everyone didn’t get depressed.
I stopped watching the news, and I stopped reading the newspaper, and a strange thing happened.
I didn’t feel disconnected from the world.
I didn’t feel like I was missing out.
I felt happier and more focused on what was happening right before me and the things that interested me.
If I want information about happenings in the world, I go to the source, not the media.
I hate how the media manipulate and sensationalise stories. I want factual information, not a biased edited version or opinion.
I realised I was still being affected by the media through other people’s opinions and articles on social media, so I became mindful of what I read.
If it isn’t for me, I scroll on.
I only occasionally check social media. Mostly I post on my Facebook business page or Instagram or read Facebook Group posts. I also left groups with continual toxic threads.
I am on YouTube every day to watch videos I find entertaining or educational. I follow many gardening channels. What a surprise!
Whenever I hear the news, mainly on the radio in the car, I feel the same aggravated, annoyed emotions creeping back in.
I start ranting (yep, I talk to the radio). So, now I turn it down when the news comes on.
I value my peace.
I Indulge My Passion – Gardening
If you’ve been around here for a minute, you’ll know that I started gardening almost 18 months ago and that I found my true calling.
I love gardening. It nurtures my soul.
Not only does it let me grow our food, it allows me to be creative.
It allows me to use my problem-solving skills, which, it turns out, are pretty good.
It gets my hands in the soil, which helps build my immune system.
It gets me outside in the fresh air and absorbing Vitamin D from the sun (don’t worry, I am not out in the heat of the day).
I get to observe nature. I even touched a baby snake the other day!!! That was NOT fun!
It is good exercise, especially when I haul around bags of cow manure and compost and shovel wheelbarrows full of soil and woodchips.
I am learning new skills and expanding my mind.
It has inspired big dreams and plans for the future.
Now, you might not be interested in gardening, but I urge you to find something you are passionate about.
Anything.
Doing something you are passionate about will inspire you. It will feed your soul, and that can only be a good thing, right?
Moving My Body
Notice I didn’t say exercise.
I’m not too fond of exercise. The word alone conjures up pain, sweat, and misery in my mind.
So, I changed exercise to moving my body.
For me, that can be anything from spring cleaning, gardening, mowing the lawn, going for a walk, yoga, or moving furniture. As long as I do that task continually for 20 minutes or more, I’m happy.
Sometimes I work all day in the garden, or we go for a bush walk, or I do several things in one day like gardening and yoga.
I need to exercise for my health. But how it makes me feel is important too.
Trying to exercise to lose weight was demoralising.
My weight bothers me. Menopause and weight gain have been a bitch, but I was sick of beating myself up about it. Putting myself down because I couldn’t lose the extra kilos.
Instead, I chose to move my body in a way that feels good to me. I love how Yoga makes me feel – strong and flexible, and gardening brings joy to my mind, body, and soul.
So, instead of thinking about exercise as a chore to endure, I do what I love.
Eating Real Food
Following on from Moving My Body, the food I eat makes all the difference.
I’ve been a little slow learning about what food is good for me and what isn’t.
It has taken me into my 50s to finally be committed to eating food that makes me feel good.
I have struggled with IBS all my life, but I love food.
Over and over, I committed to eating good food and then repeatedly fell off the wagon. Finally, I learned my limits. I knew what foods affect my energy levels, moods, sleep, and digestion.
And even though I eat the odd treat that’s not great (chocolate, I’m looking at you), 99% of the time, we eat real food, meaning whole food, not food that comes out of a package or has multiple ingredients I don’t recognise.
I like cooking and trying new recipes. And, of course, I love growing food.
When we first started eating only real food, it took a while for our taste buds to adapt to the flavours. Likewise, it takes a while to wean yourself from packaged food filled with additives and ingredients that make it taste so delicious.
But the perseverance was worth it. We are going on five years, and I wouldn’t want to eat any other way.
Admittedly, cooking everything from scratch means being more organised, but it’s nothing you can’t get used to.
For the small amount of canned and packaged food we buy, I make sure it is whole foods without extra ingredients, e.g. 100% coconut cream, chickpeas, etc.
I don’t mean to sound like a purist; I’m not by any means. Remember the chocolate. But I found what works best for my body and mental health.
I never want to return to the days of mood swings, anxiety, no energy, and constant stomach issues.
Life’s too short to live like that.
And finally, getting to know yourself is paramount.
With that, I mean spending time on your own, learning who you really are, and your core values. I put boundaries around those values, how I want people to treat me, and even how I treat myself.
I also developed an understanding of the effects external factors had on my body and mind.
When I was younger, my mental health wasn’t great and my moods were hideous. All over the place, from one extreme to the next. It was hard on the people around me. It was worse for me.
Slowly, I became aware of external reasons contributing to those issues -hormones were a big reason. However, food and alcohol were significant contributing factors. Poor life choices, bad relationships, and a lack of understanding of my core values also contributed.
I have slowly learned how different situations, people, food and more affect me. I also learned to put things into perspective,
I have learned that a bad day doesn’t mean a bad life.
You can have a great life and still want more. You can still have big dreams. It doesn’t mean you are ungrateful.
My mum passed away recently. She was 91. She was ready to go. We’re Dutch and pragmatic and matter-of-factly talking about death was normal for us.
I was prepared. But I am also sad and adjusting to her absence, so there are many emotions to process.
That doesn’t mean my life is unhappy. On the contrary, I am content with my life.
Life is good even though I am sad and grieving the loss of my Mum.
We don’t have to be one or the other. That was a big lesson to learn.
I recently watched a video about a homesteading family moving to a new property to pursue bigger dreams. The mum was expressing how she would miss their old home and garden and everything they had built.
Some viewers commented that she shouldn’t move if she was going to miss it. Others were confused about why they would leave the homestead they had lovingly built.
She explained we can feel sad about leaving the old and also be excited about the new.
The downside to staying where we are comfortable to avoid feelings of discomfort means we never grow, and we never achieve our huge dreams.
And for me, that is unacceptable.
We shouldn’t avoid difficult feelings. They’re just feelings. Feel them, acknowledge them.
I choose to live my best life all the time, which means taking the good, the bad, and the in-between, and being grateful for all of it.
I still have much to do in this life and big, big dreams to achieve.
It has been a long journey for me to get to this point of contentment in my life, and I wanted to share the experience to inspire those of you who think you can’t be happy or content because things aren’t perfect.
Perfection is overrated. Stop waiting. Be happy now.
With love
Cindy x